Finding Beauty in the Wild

I have felt a tug to share this part of my story for a long time. It's a difficult thing to share when your story may shed light on someone else. This is not a story of blame. I have tried to find freedom and this is where I end up. This is the area I am digging in and shedding light.  For the first 24 hours of my life I wasn't held. I was ripped from my mother's body in an attempt to save both of our lives. She had an infection, therefore they stuck me in an incubator. I have been told the story that a kind nurse closed the curtain and opened the circles on the incubator so my parents could touch me with out the doctor knowing. Two and a half years later my brother was born. My mom was struggling with PPD.  Both my parents were in need of help and that left them to make a huge decision of where my brother and I would go while the sought help. One of my very first memories is my parents dropping me off at a children's home. An orphanage.  My memories of living in the ch...

Walls provide shelter.  Protection from the weather.  We seek shelter when there is a storm coming .    Divide rooms. Keep things hidden from the outside. I built my first wall when I was 5 years old.  This wall was in my heart. I have a collection of walls.  I was a professional builder.  If I was hurt or unsure I could run into my shelter for safety. I had control of who could come in. There is some construction happening. Walls are up where they no longer fit. I'm thinking open concept.  To let the light in.  I have my hard hat on, and I'm digging deep to let the light dispel the darkness.