Finding Beauty in the Wild

Gonna be brave here for a second. I want to preface this with I am free from legalistic religious views about drinking. But, I noticed something about my grieving process, I wasn't allowing myself to feel it all. I was numbing the pain with a drink. When the kids were on my nerves, I could easily grab something. I've gained weight since my dad's passing. It is due to alcohol and not going to the gym. Yes I'm a busy mom, school just started, house construction, life, etc. etc. I know all the excuses. I own them. But the two things that I need right now are Jesus and exercise, and these are the two things I've kind of avoided. Not completely but not fully pursuing either. It's been a week since I've had a drink, and when the feels come rushing in and I want it, I ask Him to show me. The first time it was Thirst, get some water. The second time, I have enough room for you.  I'm sorry you lost your Daddy too. The third time, you don't have to make yourse...

I can't help but think of you on Thursdays. The last time we said goodbye was a Thursday. It's been 20 Thursdays since. It still hurts, but I'm holding on to what you said. I know you're making people laugh and giving heavenly hugs to all those who enter. I could really use one of your hugs. The world could use one of your hugs. We need a hugging station. Just line up for free hugs. Maybe on Thursdays.